Dear Matt,

I know you’ve written articles about this before but I’d like to see you write another one not just addressing single men but all of the sh*tty men in general in our country. These men today aren’t men…they’re boys. They act like little children. Playing video games all day, not interested in careers, can’t stay in relationships. I’m only 32 and I’m about to give up even looking! I thought I found real men twice but both of those ended when we were still engaged because I found out they were full of sh*t and not the kind of men I want to be with. There’s been plenty of other losers before them and after them.

Failed relationships after failed relationship and every single one ended because the man was an assh*le or worse. This is how it is for women today. There aren’t any real men left so we have no where to turn. The guys we are left to deal with are either jerks or needy and clingy, non-motivated p*ssies. Men aren’t ready to be responsible and reliable anymore. They only put on that front until you get to know them better and then the truth comes out. I know what I deserve as a woman, and it’s better than what these men/boys are offering. I guess I’ll be single for the rest of my life.

I thought of writing this all to you after this weekend when I went out with a guy I recently met. No manners, no chivalry, he couldn’t look me in the eye and have a conversation. He was dressed like a slob and he mumbled too much. Finally we went back to his house and he suggested we watched a movie. He wanted to watch X-Men which shouldn’t have been a surprise to me. The next morning he said he couldn’t bring me back to my house because he had to go the opposite direction for work (at least this one had a job :\) so I ended up calling a cab. It just seems like this is the only kind of man left.

It’s a f**ked up situation because women are always forced to settle or just be alone. I’m not needy or demanding but I want a man who is a man. A man who with ambitions and goals and who can be strong for me. Basically, do you have a brother Matt? Seriously why do you think this is happening? Where are all the real men? I’m glad you understand how it is because most men get all offended when you talk about this. The truth is that the dating world is harder for women because so many of these guys suck and we know we deserve better.

Rebecca (a big fan)

PS if you use this in a post please don’t use my full name.

Rebecca,

You say you’re a fan, and I appreciate that. I don’t really need fans, only readers, but I’m thankful for your patronage. And I’m sorry that you’re about to be severely disappointed by my response.

Now, before I get to alienating another loyal reader, first I’ll agree that you are not alone in feeling this way. There are, as you say, many other women out there who blame men for their troubles. There are many women who make sweeping generalizations about men and then use those generalizations to rationalize all of their personal and romantic failures.

There are many women who’ve been divorced multiple times and burned through an infinite number of other less committed relationships, yet still believe that every single doomed coupling can be hung entirely around the necks of those dirty, dastardly men. There are many women who say that there are no ‘real men,’ but who’ve never stopped to consider what it takes to be a ‘real woman,’ and whether they live up to that standard.

Notice, I say ‘many’ women. Not all or every or most. Many. I’d estimate the number of women in this category probably mirrors the number of men in the category you describe. And the members of both clubs commiserate amongst themselves, pointing their fingers at the other group, wondering why God or the Universe or Whatever External Force chose to saddle them with an existence constantly plagued and encumbered by the myriad shortcomings of the opposite gender.

But of course the two clubs still have mixers where they get together and there’s a lot of sex and a lot of regret and a lot of blaming. Always blaming. Meanwhile, women who are not in the Blame Men Sorority carry on meeting, forming relationships with, and marrying decent guys, as men not in the Blame Women Fraternity likewise meet, form relationships with, and marry decent ladies. All we outsiders can do is scratch our heads and wonder how we managed to find a romantic partner who supposedly doesn’t exist.

I’m not sure precisely how many women belong to the club or how many men belong to the other one, but I do know that, according to this study, women are more likely to blame their significant others for their relationship problems, and even, according to this study, more likey to blame the other driver in a car accident.

Interesting data. I can’t say I’m completely surprised.

Now, as you referenced, I have in fact written posts challenging men, including myself, to man up, grow up, and get our act together. I have talked about the struggles and sins of modern men, and I do not regret or retract any of those statements. The post in particular that you seem to have latched onto, this one, came from a very sincere place in my heart, and I’m glad that I wrote it. But I’m not glad that, because of my ‘Dear Single Men’ piece, I find myself regularly fielding messages just like yours, from women like you, who’ve found unintended validation in my words.

I’ve long desired to write a follow up — one directed at the ladies for a change — but I’ve stopped myself every time because I know that whatever I say will be written off as ‘paternalistic’ or ‘misogynistic’ or ‘sexist’ or some other applicable -ic or -ist. But your message has finally prompted me to take this dangerous plunge.

Please understand that, although I’m talking to you and addressing your situation specifically, everything I’m saying also serves as a response to the many other emails which I did not or could not address individually.

OK. With that established, here’s my three word summarized reaction to everything you said: it’s your fault. Also see: get over it and stop finger pointing.

What I mean is, ‘men’ aren’t the problem, Rebecca. It’s you. You’re the one. You’re the common denominator. You’re to blame. There has been one person conspicuously involved in all of Rebecca’s romantic flops, and her name is Rebecca. Maybe you should take a look at her for a change.

Frankly, it seems that when you refer to ‘men’ you aren’t even talking about a group of actual human beings. ‘Men’ have become an abstract idea, a conceptual manifestation of everything that’s wrong with your life. If men exist at all in your world, they exist only as vehicles for your misery.

Consider that, for ritual purification, the Ancient Syrians used to cast a goat out into the wastelands. The literal scapegoat was supposed to carry the sins of the town into the nether regions, where it and its spiritual luggage would die and decay. What you’ve done with men is just a more efficient, animal-friendly version of this strategy. You’ve saddled them with your personal baggage and sent them to the desert to perish. You’ve made a scapegoat of the entire gender.

Let’s borrow a recent example from your own life.

You went on a date with a man who, you claim, had no manners. Maybe that’s true, or maybe you’re so desperate to find fault in every male on the planet that he was fated to be labeled a boorish dolt no matter what he did or said. You also mention that he ‘couldn’t look you in the eyes and have a conversation.’ Maybe. Maybe he was nervous. Maybe he has social anxieties. Maybe he tried to talk to you but he sensed your stand-offish, snobbish demeanor and it made him uncomfortable. I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as you say, or maybe he actually was a big, awkward, uncouth, stammering warthog. You seem to have come to latter conclusion very early on in the evening, yet you still chose to go back to his place.

What does that say about you, Rebecca? Look in the mirror and ask yourself what it says aboutyou that you came back to this man’s house even though you were apparently disgusted by him.

That’s a choice you made. You. Not him. You.

He continued to fumble and falter well into the night, committing the unconscionable sin of revealing himself to be a fan of the X-Men film franchise. The uncultured, lethargic lout only succeeded in finding more ways to repulse and offend you as time wore on, yet you were never put off enough to decline the invitation to stay over.

Here’s the thing, Rebecca: I was always told that if I want to attract a good woman, I have to be a good man. Admittedly, I managed to attract a good woman despite being a horribly flawed and sinful man, but there is still wisdom in this idea even if it doesn’t always hold true. The point is, you have to work on improving yourself if you want to end up with a man who is equally intent on improving himself.

Not all men are desperate, drooling oafs straight out of some cliched beer commercial. There are plenty of hardworking, engaging, dependable, morally upright men out there, but they won’t come knocking on your door just because you’ve announced that you’re a ‘woman who deserves it.’

Rebecca, you’re willing to essentially typecast a man because he plays with video games and watches superhero movies, but have you ever considered that you might be the victim of similar assumptions because you sleep with dudes you just met? Of course, ‘victim’ isn’t the right word. You’ve earned the assumptions. I’m not saying that you ought to be alone for the rest of your life, but I am pointing out that you are eager to jump to profound conclusions about a man based on the most superficial of flaws, without stopping to consider what conclusions might be drawn about you based on slightly more significant character traits.

Then again, this guy was willing to sleep with you on the first date just as you were with him. He’s not innocent in the transaction, and neither are you. It sounds like, right now, you two are evenly matched. You look at him and see yourself, and you hate him for it.

We hear all of the handwringing about the decline of masculinity and the disappearance of ‘real men,’ yet very little is ever said about the corresponding deterioration of femininity. It’s strange that you purport to care about ‘manners and chivalry’ yet your email was vulgar and overly aggressive, at times coming across like dialogue out of a middle school boys’ locker room.

‘P*ssy’? Really? A 32-year-old woman using a word like that to describe men while simultaneously complaining that men aren’t courteous? I bet the ones who are courteous just get written off as ‘p*ssies’ anyway, so it’s a lose-lose. A lose-lose for you, especially, because in the end you’re the only one who has to pay for your extremely unappealing attitude.

By your account, you’ve had two broken engagements, and both were the fault of the men who were allegedly ‘full of sh*t.’ Maybe they were. But it is, from a mathematical perspective, almost impossible for one human being to have two failed engagements without being at least partially to blame. In fact, in the history of human relationships, only a very, very, very tiny fraction of them have ever soured or splintered due completely to the actions and choices of one person. It’s been my experience, both personally and as a student of history and an observer of people (as creepy as that sounds), that fractured and strained relationships can rarely be broken down into a clear Bad Person vs Good Person dichotomy. And, on the rare occasion when things are actually that simple, it’s just as likely to be Bad Woman vs Good Guy as it is to be Bad Guy vs Good Woman.

In short, Rebecca, I’m playing the odds here and assuming that you were probably not the victim of both spoiled engagements, just as you are not the victim of your other fruitless romantic endeavors. You are a participant, a catalyst, a cause.

So where are the Real Men, you ask? All around. Don’t look to me as an example — I’m average on my best day — but you can look in millions of other places. I have them in my family, I have them as friends, I’ve had them as coworkers, neighbors, and elected representatives. OK, maybe not elected representatives, but definitely coworkers, neighbors, friends, and family. These are not perfect or flawless men, but they are decent, honest, and kind. You say you cannot find such a guy, yet I come across them every single day of my life.

What am I — lucky? Have I located the only remaining pocket of Real Men? Are my circumstances that extraordinary?

I’d love to be so special, but I tend to doubt it. I think I’m a normal guy living a normal life, surrounded by other normal guys. Yes, there are jerks and losers, too, but if you find your life completely overrun by those types, then you have to ask yourself two questions:

1) Do I need to reexamine my definition of ‘jerk’ and ‘loser’?
2) Am I flanked on all sides by jerks and losers because I am of their same caliber?

That second question is tough. Don’t gloss over it. I know it isn’t fun to take stock of oneself, but it is a necessary step towards growth and maturity.

You might feel that I’m attacking you. I’m not. I’m just laying out the reality here, Rebecca. In the end, this is all good news. It’s good news because it means you are in control and you can change your fortunes.

If men were totally responsible for everything, there would be no hope for you. Clearly you can’t fix the male gender any more than you can change the orbit of the Earth. It’s fortunate, then, that you don’t need to reverse the planet’s rotation or find a remedy for the sins of the opposite sex. Your job is much simpler, much easier.

Just change yourself.

That’s my recommendation.

For whatever reason, it’s very popular to scold men and say, ‘women deserve better,’ but nobody ever seems to turn to women and say, ‘men deserve better.’ You spend a lot of time in your email talking about what you deserve and what you want, but have you ever stopped to consider what men deserve and what men want? Love, respect, loyalty, integrity. Did you know that we care about those things, too? Have you provided them in every one of your relationships? Have you woken up each morning and thought ‘what can I do to make the person I love happy today’? Or has it always been ‘what will they do to make me happy today’?

I can’t answer these questions, but you can. And I hope you do so with an open and honest heart.

I can, however, answer the question you asked me: yes, I do have a brother.

But he’s still in college so he might be a little young for you.

And I think he likes X-Men.

Thanks for reading,

Matt

DT Rebuttal:

Before anything, it seems Rebecca was born with a Dragon’s Tail in the critical sign of Virgo, a sign that is reputed for its honesty, sarcasm and fault finding.  Secondly Matt is a well read kid who got much of his traditional “wisdom” from many of  according to this study…

Secondly Matt wrote “What I mean is, ‘men’ aren’t the problem, Rebecca. It’s you. You’re the one. You’re the common denominator. You’re to blame. There has been one person conspicuously involved in all of Rebecca’s romantic flops, and her name is Rebecca. Maybe you should take a look at her for a change.”

Relationships always involve TWO people Matt, not only one and if Rebecca should take a look at her for a change it should be with a deeper cosmic reality by investigating her Zodiacal Identity or her  natal UCI!

But, as a rule, God fearing Christians are forbidden talking to God outside of the archaic bible.

And as far as Matt having a brother, Rebecca has yet to learn he is nothing compared to Matt and will never be because his natal UCI is very different. This again show how little do Christians know of the complex cosmic design of all God’s children.

The fact is I read only a few lines from Matt’s answers because, in no way will anyone who does not own cosmic consciousness involved in the study of romantic relationships will be able to help people like Rebecca.

None of them know about  the power of Mars in a woman or a man’s chart or what a woman or a man need from each others. None of them know about the planet Venus and her purpose in the affairs of love. Not knowing anything about the partner’s UCI is a recipe for disaster and the only way for men and women to find out is, with a multitude of failed dates.

Mars in a man’s chart depict how he will display his masculinity and go “hunting” for women.

Mars in a women chart depict her expectations from a male and how she will respond to his advances…

Venus in a man’s chart depict the type of love he is expecting to receive from a woman.

Venus in a woman chart enunciate the type of love she will naturally offer to her man.

I can also help all rational readers with a more logical article  titled “Rejection and How To Deal with It” and speak the same human language as Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura or Matt.

Reading both Rebecca bitching and a non cosmic conscious kid trying to help one of his readers is so non-engaging to me because I feel its a total waste of time. All Matt can do is rationalize with his own experiences, intelligence and personal UCI.

There is no reason for anyone to engage with a “stranger” and take the “necessary step towards growth and maturity” to find out the hard way this person is totally incompatible with you.

There are millions of dating websites on the Internet even Christian, cowboys, ethnic and other races, old folks etc. websites and just because they share the same religion, race, color or age etc. does not mean they will be happy ever after.

Once I thought of starting a website using Astropsychology (or Astroforensics) and asked some readers to be in it with me  many times over the years, at no avail..Then again, its probably better to keep peoples relations on a personal level…Enough drama.

If for example the natal or hidden dragon curse the 7th house (marriage) the 5th house (attraction between human beings) or any of the 12 houses negatively, failure is assured. Sometime it is the passage of the Universal Dragon in any of those houses that produce the conflict leading to a painful divorce.

As explained last night in Cristina, radio show (stand by for the link) upon the entrance of the Dragon’s Tail in my relationship house, and after 12 years of marriage, I was pushed into a very difficult divorce. The stars were then set for my ex to be attracted karmic ally by someone born in September, with the Tail of the Dragon in Virgo, stirring her 5th house of love, romance and attraction. This cosmic timing was tripling the karmic attraction and the irresistible chemistry both married participants experienced.  This is how I accurately explain “love at first sight”

In no way, a young cosmic unconscious Matt (and 99.99% of the dating world’s population) could ever comprehend the depth of such a reality and the dramatic results I had to endure and, this precious cosmic wisdom serves no one looking for a soul mate because Astropsychology is not used in any dating service.

Unless one master the trade and become an Astropsychologist, there is NO way to avoid separation and heartaches and this is why 60 percent of marriages for young, emotional unconscious couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce.

This  2003 data reveals about who is getting married, when they’re getting married, and who is most likely to divorce. However we are now in 2014, which mean this data is today seriously outdated and incorrect.

• The average age of a woman getting married in the United States is 27. ” Bride’s Magazine
• The average age of a man getting married in the United States is 29. ” Bride’s Magazine

• 59 percent of marriages for women under the age of 18 end in divorce within 15 years. The divorce rate drops to 36 percent for those married at age 20 or older. ” “Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in the United States,” M.D. Bramlett and W.D. Mosher
• 50 percent of all marriages in which the brides are 25 or older result in a failed marriage. ” National Center for Health Statistics
• 65 percent of altar-bound men and women live together before getting married. ” Bride’s Magazine
• Research indicates that people who live together prior to getting married are more likely to have marriages that end in divorce. ” The Boston Herald
• A recent study on cohabitation concluded that after five to seven years, only 21 percent of unmarried couples were still living together. ” The Boston Herald
• 55 percent of cohabitating couples get married within five years of moving in together. Forty percent of couples who live together break up within that same time period. ” Annual Review of Sociology
• Children of divorce have a higher risk of divorce when they marry, and an even higher risk if the person they marry comes from a divorced home. One study found that when the wife alone had experienced a parental divorce, her odds of divorce increased to 59 percent. When both spouses experienced parental divorce, the odds of divorce nearly tripled to 189 percent. ” Journal of Marriage and the Family
• The likelihood that a woman will eventually marry is significantly lower for those who first had a child out of wedlock. By age 35, only 70 percent of all unwed mothers are married in contrast to 88 percent of women who have not had a child out of wedlock. ” “Finding a Mate? The Marital and Cohabitation Histories of Unwed Mothers,” Lawrence L. Wu and Barbara Wolfe

At 65 a few divorces behind me, I had plenty time to learn and acknowledge the reality of Astropsychology and what a supreme tool Astroforensics could be if it was used in dating services. But again, I would have deal and bypass the comfort zones of all the young unconscious couples stuck in the religious and / or  scientific matrixes.

While 88 percent of American men and women between the ages of 20 and 29 believe that they have a soul mate who is waiting for them. “University Wire, Louisiana State University” the chances of finding such a karmic partner is extraordinary rare. Mostly because none of those who run dating agencies, let alone individuals or famous heads such as Dr. Phill crazy Patti Stanger Millionaires Club or Dr.Laura Schlessinger – “The Stars and Fate of Dr. Laura” own cosmic consciousness or practice Natal Comparison charts.

Knowledge is power and during my wild single younger days, I was much more than popular with all the Ladies I met. This unusual dating success made many of my friend wonder of the undeniable power I own over women in general. Some even though, because I am an hypnotherapist I used it to “hypnotize the Ladies.”

Nothing could be more wrong of course, most the time all I did was to check on the natal UCI, the location of Mars and Venus and I knew EXACTLY how to make any girl like me. This success brought also enormous jealousy with some envious friends which hanged around me perpetually to get some of it”

This is where I started teaching them some of my “secrets” and made my first Talismans to compensate for the lack of physical attraction. The Magical Power of Talismans!

 While some of my friends did not have the interest or the time to master Astropsychology, doing so could have help them to be successful not only in the dating game, but in life in general.

I am not exactly proud of misusing Astropsychology to get the girls, and I now realized those confused girls were lost and maybe not all but some were in need of love and attention.  This is where I realize that, ANYONE can learn the trade and used it selfishly, even criminals. Indeed the stars do not care, if you have what it take physically, financially or spiritually you’ll be the winner and the winner takes it all!

My wonderful wife  and soul mate Terania cooling herself in the Arid Zone Salt river

Then came my wonderful soul mate Terania, and she appeared because not only the heavens were on my side but because I was ready to stop wasting my time with, hurt confused girls and be committed to someone I knew was for me.

Over the years I realized, because of my divorces, I had a “vendetta” against women and could not bring myself to love and respect any of them. Much like Rebecca saying alls men are sh*tty, p*ssies assh*le or worse, I was subconsciously thinking the same thing!

Since the reuniting with my soul mate in the beginning of 2007 and then wedding Terania in Las Vegas April 20, 2010 my life has changed drastically and for the best! She never used a dating site nor was even looking for anyone or even cared. It was simply magic but she wrote about the experience back in the Moon Power 2009 edition She is my perfect replica who loves all that I am and all that I do. In fact if it was not for Terania incredible wisdom and dedication, chances are I would be a depressive medicated alcoholic or dead.

This is why nurturing hopes to find your soul mate is a must, and even if she is half of my age, God wanted me to finally find her at 60.

I meet her during my “wild” days and not because I wanted it too but  it took over a year before I took the long drive from Phoenix to Dallas to bring her home in my heart for ever…

I was compensating the emptiness with an over active social life, with so many male and female friends I knew so well from the inside out with such a cosmic wisdom. I drank myself silly, suffered a few accidents late at night  and escaped death each time…Thus if you are looking for a soul mate, do not despair, because I recall the pain I was going through, lying to myself with so many girls around me and still feeling so unloved, so empty and so lonely.

It is only after checking and rechecking Terania’s UCI and expecting, confirming her reactions during so many months dating from distance, that I knew I could finally trust her stars faithfully. I did thousands of comparison charts since 1991, and the one involving our cosmic identities was the MOST important one I had to do because I did not want to make another mistake and end up hurting again.

So Ladies, while we have many chauvinistic men out there and the same with ladies too… Do not think all men are animals, for if we behave badly its because somewhere, somehow we also felt  a relentless emotional pain.  A pain that can only stop and heal with a wonderful, trusting loving, dedicated, understanding, forgiving soul mate.

So the question remain, as a devout God fearing Christian, will you upgrade your perception of God’s cosmic Divinity or trust Matt and the bible to offer you factuality about relationships?  How can you make someone happy when you do not even know yourself?

How can you expect someone you know nothing about “cosmically” to become your dedicated trustful soul mate? All I can tell you, unless you take chance on yourself and upgrade to God’s cosmic design, you WILL end up like I used to be, sad, depressed, angry with the opposite sex and alone!

But I am here to help you find out who you really are, who you will attract and when to look for your soul mate!  Furthermore GOd led you to me and this is not an accident, especially when you can make a good use of the current AND AFFORDABLE SUPER DEALS I have for you!

Indeed knowledge is power, ignorance is evil! “Ask and you shall receive!”  

Blessings

Dr. Turi

• Challenging all Atheist organizations and media agnostics to deny my predictions!
• Carl Sagan Birthday and NASA Masquerade – Can you handle the truth?
• Are you ready for Ebola and the upcoming pandemic of 2015? Make note, I’ll talk to you then!
• Bright green shooting star / meteor, San Antonio, TX, 08 NOV 2014 SOS TO THE WORLD
• A water bubble can do THIS in space – SOS World Water Shortage 
  

“Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.”  ― Napoleon

Do not hesitate to call Dr. Turi at 602-265-7667 for a free 5 mn mini reading to check  his amazing perceptive gift!

December 21st 2014, Dr. Turi will join host Janet Kira Lessin on Aquarian radio to discuss ISIS latest developments in relation to the current Arian Draconian energy and predictions for the world imposed by the upcoming  2015 Nostradamus Neptunius Draconis Universal Predictions

Teach me all about my cosmic relationship with God marvelous Univer…

The Magical Power of Talismans! 

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